


Keith and Lance, Sitting in a Tree, K-i-s-s... -i-s-s-i-p-p-i!

by ablondeweasley



Category: Parks and Recreation, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Parks and Recreation, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-30 22:30:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12662754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ablondeweasley/pseuds/ablondeweasley
Summary: Lance never expected to find himself in a government job, but hey, here he is, and it's been a couple years, too! Everyone in his department is nice, though--There’s Allura, the Director, who is not only super hot, but really scary. And then there’s Coran, the crazy Deputy Director. He’s like the weird uncle. Ooh, and then there’s Hunk, Lance's main man! Lance's not really sure what he does, it’s like sceince-y, engineer stuff, though, y’know? And there’s Pidge, the department's grumpy intern. She’s super smart. And then Lance's department also works with other people outside of Parks and Rec? Again, Lance's not really sure what they do, but there’s Shiro, who's like a cuddly Chris Evans, and Shay from HR, who's super sweet and who Hunk totally has a thing for, (don't tell him Lance told you, though) and like, Slav, this weird old freelancer who Shiro justhates, and… Keith, who works with Shiro, Lance guesses. He sucks, though....aka that Parks and Rec AU that i know has been done before but i honestly don't care





	Keith and Lance, Sitting in a Tree, K-i-s-s... -i-s-s-i-p-p-i!

**Author's Note:**

> lmao the city manager's full name is Z.R. Khan i ~~crack myself up~~ hate myself

“Shit. Shit, shit, _shit!_ ”  
Jesus. Lance’s head swivels to where Allura’s peering through the blinds of her office windows, swearing like a sailor, so abruptly that he feels something in his neck pop. Three or four something’s.  
Because never, in his five years of working here, has he heard Allura swear.  
“Um, Allura?” He addresses her back, and wow, he has a nice view of her ass, which, while looking incredible in her pantsuit, for some reason doesn’t make him anywhere near as giddy and mildly turned on as it would’ve two years ago.  
“Shit fuck!” Is all Lance gets in response as Allura let the blinds close with a _snap_ and turns to face him with a wild look in her eyes. Uh-oh, there really is a problem. “Lance, I’m going to need you not to panic, but that shit fuck Lotor is back.” Allure grits her teeth and slams her palm down on the corner of Lance’s desk so hard it makes his desktop quiver.  
“O-kay…” Lance quits out of the online scrabble game he’d been going at against (or honestly, more like getting massacred by) Pidge. “And… why would I have been panicking in the first place?”  
Allura bites her lip, “Lotor’s that fucking auditor, Lance! Last time he was sent, we lost several good men!” Jesus, she made it sound like they were in some war of some sort! “This is a war, Lance!” Allura bangs on Lance’s desk again, even harder. She looks at the camera. “Working in government means there’s a new battle to be fought everyday.”

…

“Yeah, I’ve been working here five whole years. Crazy, right?” Lance shrugs at the camera, laughing. “Working here’s pretty great though, if you don’t count fucking Keith.” He rolled his eyes. “But yeah, it’s been the same group of us since I started. There’s Allura, the Director, who, as you saw from that interaction, is not only super hot but really scary. She doesn’t normally swear like that, though. And then there’s Coran, the crazy Deputy Director,” Lance gives a fond smile, “He’s like the crazy uncle. Ooh, and then there’s Hunk, my main man! I’m not really sure what he does, it’s like sceince-y, engineer stuff, y’know? And there’s Pidge, our grumpy intern. She’s super smart.” Lance shifted on the bench. “And then we also work with other people outside of the department? Again, not really sure what they do, but there’s Shiro, and, like, Slav, and… Keith.” Lance rolls his eyes to heaven again, which seems to be a habit when bringing up Keith. “Shiro is like this super positive health freak! He’s like a cuddly Chris Evans, and like ‘Llura, also super hot. And Slav’s this weird old freelancer who Shiro just _hates._ ” Lance gives a little giggle, but then he frowns. “And Keith works with Shiro, I guess. He sucks, though.”

…

Lance’s desk isn’t in his own little office, but the main room. Pidge and Hunk are also in the main room, on opposite sides. Lance has the coffee machine on his side, and he’s the closest to Allura’s office, so he’s happy. Pidge is in front of all the windows, and poor Hunk’s by the door. He doesn’t mind that he’s the first person people address when they come into the room, though; he’s such a friendly dude.  
Now, though, Lance isn’t so happy that he’s this close to Allura’s desk. She keeps poking her head out of the door and worrying at him, and even when she closes her office door, Lance can hear her ranting and pacing. “I don’t get why this is such a big deal, Allura! If you’re so worried about budget cuts, go talk to Shiro or something? He’s higher up, right? And in charge of things like that, I guess?”  
Allura stops pacing, “You’re right, Lance. Great idea!” But instead of charging righteously upstairs like Lance had expected her too, she sits down at her desk and starts typing furiously. “I’m, uh, actually super busy here, though!” She doesn’t look at him. “Can you go bring the situation to Shiro and Keith’s attention?”  
Fuck, no.  
“Um, Allura? Why can’t _you_ just go?” Lance raises his eyebrows at her. There’s no way she’s busy when she’s been pacing like this for the past half hour, and there’s also no way Lance is going to pay a fucking visit to Keith.  
“I may or may not have… already brought the issue up, and been shot down?” Allura looks at him guiltily over her computer desktop. “But I’m sure if another concerned, valued employee goes to speak with them, the issue will be given more… precedence.” Lance sighs, and runs a hand over his face. It’s not like he has anything better to do, but… Keith… “Please, Lance? I’ll owe you one!” Lance could never say no to that face.  
“Fine! But you owe me a round of drinks at the Snakehole.” Maybe Keith won’t be such an ass this time? Never mind, because pigs fly.  
“Sure, okay,” Allura smiles, “Now hurry! You want to try and catch them before lunch.”

…

Shiro and Keith’s office is larger than the whole Parks and Rec department’s section, for some reason. It’s also upstairs, which is one floor closer to the fourth floor, and. Jesus. The fourth floor is really fucking scary—that’s where divorces, criminal sentences, and… other scary stuff goes down.  
“Hey, Lance!” Shiro jumps up as soon as Lance enters the room, grinning like Lance is the fucking sun or some shit. Lance can’t help but smile back, as Shiro has that effect on people, even with Keith sitting in the corner.  
“What do you want now?” Keith doesn’t even look up from the binder he has in his lap, and he actually has a fucking pen tucked behind his ear. Dipshit. Who even does that?  
“No need to get your mullet in a twist, Kogane,” Lance saunters forward, “Allura just wanted me to talk to you guys about what this Lotor being here means? I haven’t even seen the guy, actually, but Allura can like ‘sense his negative energy and upcoming doom’ or something, and she says he’s an auditor who’s going to… cut all of our jobs?” Shiro grimaces in response, while Keith just snorts and turns a page.  
“We already talked with Allura about this, I believe. Yes, Lotor is here, and yes, he’s an auditor, but he’s just here to possibly facilitate cuts to the department. And the cuts will most likely be to funding, not jobs.” Shiro opens a bottle of multivitamins and pops one in his mouth. Keith takes his silence as an opportunity to jump in.  
“Shiro’s being positive, as usual, Lance. Lotor’s the city manager’s right-hand man, and you know Khan—he’s ruthless. Your department has zero priority, so you probably will be looking at job cuts. And people like you are going first.” Keith enunciates his negative speech with a jab of his pen in Lance’s direction. Asshole.  
Shiro sighs, and sets his vitamin bottle back down on his desk. “I guess what Keith’s saying is possible, but tell Allura again that all of the cuts have to be run through us first, and we won’t let anything that major happen, okay?” Keith scoffs. Double asshole.   
“Ugh, Mr. Billy Ray Cyrus," Lance really tries to be nice and polite with Keith, but he’s just. Like that! "Maybe I really _should_ be worrying about this Lotor guy! If you’re the only thing in between him and my job, then I should be freaking out like ‘Llura!”  
“Lance—“ Shiro starts, but Lance is already gone.

…

“God, Keith is such an asshole.” Lance is gesturing wildly with his hands, nearly taking out the camera, “Oops, sorry, It’s just—I-I don’t understand how Shiro can work with him! Or how anyone can, for that matter! I mean, sure, Keith seems to be good at his job, or whatever, and I mean, he’s kinda – kinda good-looking? I gotta admit, he’s got nice skin, nice cheekbones—nice face in general, I guess. And he works out. He could get it. I-I mean, not with me, but – eh, there’s not denying that Keith is attractive, but like, objectively so, okay? But he’s such an asshole, so it all just goes to waste!” Lance pulls at his collar, pointedly Not Looking at the camera.

…

“I don’t mind working with the Parks Department as often as I do. They’re all nice people.” Shiro smiles. “I mean, Allura is a very strong, capable, hard-working, talented, director. She’s a little… over-enthusiastic at times, but she’s certainly quite effective and a valuable asset to her department.” Shiro blushes, looking down, and quickly changes the subject. “But-but it’s hard sometimes, with Keith and Lance being… Keith and Lance, y’know? Keith is brutal with his work, and he’s always struggled a bit with… social situations. And Lance is a sensitive young man, and so they just clash! It makes the workplace a little tense sometimes. And then there’s that whole bet—“ He looks directly into the camera, abruptly horrified. “Oh, God, I didn’t say that. There’s no bet about Keith and Lance getting togethe—ah, stop talking to me! No, I am _not_ sweating!”


End file.
